"Dont, dont you want me? You know I dont believe you when you say that you dont need me...."

Why do tanning salons exist? Did the inventor of the tanning bed have an epiphany when they saw Willy Wonka as a child? Do the people who utilize this technology realize that they have taken on a orange pallor? I have a tan year round...because of the concentration of melanin in my skin. Would I roast myself like a rotisserie chicken if I were as translucent as milky hobnail glass? No, but the point is moot due to my inhabiting a brown body my whole life. So why do people flock to these meccas of man made ultraviolet madness? I want to walk in just once and ask how many sessions it would take to become "really black" darker than Oprah black, I assume that the attendant would be aghast....I'm being magnanimous. It would probably not even occur to them my ironic take on their services. Besides I don't think I could keep a straight face long enough...