.. see that girl, watch that scene, diggin the Dancing Queen

I relish the use of the silent treatment. It's a tad childish but very effective. As if his exile in the kitchen awash in the glory of "Monday Night Football" is wounding me. Ha! He could sleep in there and it could hardly register a blip on my radar. Maybe he'll break another phone.....nope he already did that. Maybe Dee will appear on our doorstep and whisk him away from me? I wonder how much I'd have to pay her? I should look into that. Why is he yawning? What could he have done to be tired? Ohh that's right being a self absorbed passive aggressive loaf takes alot of energy.

You should see how it feels With your feet on the ground

Throwing Stones ~ Paula Cole

"> So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

There you go again you cut me off from talking
You bask in the glory
The center of the circle
All the friends think you are a comedian
So kind and generous
but i am suffering
Away from here
I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little, every little thing

Now you call me a bitch in heat and
I call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

You're the puppeteer and i'm the puppet
You manipulate me with your real catholic shit
Everytime i try to talk it through
You turn it around and make us out to be
like David and Goliath

Away from here
I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little every little thing

Now you call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

Your arms beneath me
Your lying inside me
I used to love your every little every little thing
Your eyes blue stars
Your hand in my purse
And now I hate your every little everything all day

Oh momma
I didn't know life was this hard
Oh momma
My innocence has been tarred

My inner vision, dulled and darkened
I keep myself away to you
I fuck my sorrow humblely
And throw my crown upon the ground

It's you I hope for
And us I pray for
And me that I believed was wrong
But now my anger is my best friend
Be careful may bite your head off

Liar

So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll you a motherfucker
And we'll throw stones until we're dead


Just a little glimpse of what I'm feelin tonight. Why do I even get up most days....other than my offspring...why. If I had been him...he would have broken in two...not because of my pain. Because he could never do what I've done. He could never hold all of this together. He could never put us first. He can't even deal with me being gone a hour. When did I become nothing more than a vessel to bear children, a chauffeur, a maid, a warm body in a bed unappreciated. When? April 28th......thirteen years ago.

.....always look on the bright side of life...

I did it. I emailed them...I must be out of my damn mind. They stop speaking to me over 2 years ago....yet they still speak to Nina. WTF? I am a masochist. I should have never sent that message. I should have just mourned the demise of a one sided relationship. I should let it lie.

...that's the night that the lights went out in Georgia...

That could be the cheesiest post title yet. I couldn't resist.....it was so lame. I read other blogs to get a sense of how much I lack a sense of cohesiveness. The ones featured on 'Blogs of Note" seem to always have a discernible focus....I should get one. But what? Porn reviews? Politics? Indie Music? Celebrity Gossip? YAWN ; )
None of that seems to appeal enough to me to write about on a consistent basis. I am supposed to be "...Educating Maine, One Caucasian at a Time.." I have yet to do this. Perhaps I should have a giveaway of some sort! Okay that works. Here it is..........name each song that I culled my posts titles from. That's it. If you get them all right I'll buy you a coffee.....and maybe I'll convince Armen to give you a "Happy Ending" I can deliver the coffee for sure.....Armen, well that might take some work. He is quite cute and he has yet to register any hits on the Slap Tally so...any thing's possible.
So give it a go! Name that tune....get caffeine and some lifeguard lovin'. Send your entries to:
tokenethnicgirl@gmail.com
Good Luck : )

...all I'm sayin pretty baby La La Love You don't mean maybe..

Hotmail ate my message. That was a good thing, if it had reached it's intended recipient there would have been a maelstrom on the horizon. Why reach out to one who rejects you? Who was a supposed friend, who should care, who should not have gone 2 years without speaking to you. Because you're a sap, because you miss them, because you need a why. Why? I never stopped caring....why did you...Why?

You will always wonder how It could have been if you'd only lied

How do you wade through bullshit? When you're knee deep in it and the other person does the backstroke in it. How can you build a real friendship on that? When you constantly feel as though every statement is a moral litmus test. Why can't life be simple. Simple

..tempted but the truth was discovered....

What kind of person signs a ticket with an expletive? I do....that's right..."Go fuck yourself" seems like a perfectly reasonable manner in which to sign a summons. I could have ran her down with my car, donkey punched her or gouged her eyes out with my keys. No I chose to express my disgust in print. Which apparently earned me another summons. Thank you Ofc. Small, you humourless cunt. I can only hope your dog injures you in a tragic yet scandalous peanut butter accident. I can only hope that someone really yells at you...not just speaks in an unwavering voice to defend themselves....but you know us "colored folks" we're always yellin' at you mighty white folks. Perhaps you've seen far too many women's prison films? Did that influence your career in law enforcement? No you get off on your supposed superiority....a badge does not automatically entitle you to respect. Do you earn respect by loitering at Puffin Stop for 4 hours sipping free coffee whilst gossiping with the cashier you're trying to sleep with? Or fixing violations for your friends? Or stealing artwork and passing it off as your own? Did you earn respect by vandalizing your track coach's car....to hide your sexuality....hmm how sad that you need a uniform to be authentic. I'll pay my fines, I'll switch my license over....but I will NEVER respect you or your unearned authority. Ohh before I forget........GO FUCK YOURSELF MICHELLE!

With your feet on the air and your head on the ground

At what point do you just say fuck it? What has to transpire in your world to give those words meaning? Sometimes it is the minute of occurrences....the smallest of details..the pettiest of squabbles.
Why would his birthday merit more consideration than my offspring? Or mine for that matter? Why is the task of resolving disputes heaved at me? Am I impugned with special powers for fighting evil.....a magic lasso....an invisible jet? No...sadly no. I could really use a lasso.

Like some Baby Barbarella with the stars as her umbrella

Why are drapery rods so vexing? They hold up curtains not the magnetic pull of earth. But yet they can reduce otherwise sane, rational, and serene people to fits of madness over whether they are straight or not. Whether they are placed at the appropriate level for the drapes to hang "just so" ..... languishing upon the floor in an chic puddle or grazing the sill of a window. It really shouldn't be the focus of a entire Sunday.

She'll talk to you with no one else around.......

ac·quain·tance
Pronunciation: &-'kwAn-t^&n(t)s
Function: noun
2 a : the persons with whom one is acquainted
b : a person whom one knows but
who is not a particularly close friend

¹snub
Pronunciation: 'sn&b
Function: transitive verb
1 : to check or stop with a cutting retort
3 : to treat with contempt or neglect