"This anger’s felt not spoken"

I just don't see the need to bother any longer. I don't want to jump through the hoops anymore. I won't repay the same debt over and over and over and over....see where this is headed? So do I. He'll never get it, he'll never feel secure, he'll never see what he has, he will just stay right where he is,and he is incapable of change. He can keep saying sorry. The words from his mouth are just as vacant and hollow as his soul. He breaks things he cannot fix, he says things that should be left unsaid, he squanders all he is given, and swims in the sea of his self-righteousness.
I live in skin that is the embodiment of all my faults, real and self assigned, hands that tremble and a mind that is constantly at race, I'll never be the perfection that he seeks. Each year my soul erodes more and more, I wonder what is left, does it even matter anymore? He wears his self righteousness and it is all the protection he needs. He should lie beside it at night, hold it in his arms, maybe it can be the thing that fills what he lacks. I just know I don't want to be that anymore.