..this is a man's world...but it would be nothing without a women or a girl...

James Brown is dead. No I'm not fucking quoting a 90s techno tune....The Godfather of Soul has passed. He was the reason I had rhythm...what a fucked up thing to happen on Christmas. Teach the angels to get funky Mr. Brown...you are sure gonna be missed.

I am tired..I am weary. I could sleep for a thousand years..

It's supposed to snow the majority of the weekend.....yippee fucking yah!!! To those who don't know, that was sarcasm. Just wanted to point that out from the onset. I am in a mood...when am I not right? No..no most days I get pissy about something vent, then I'm fine. I really am fine for the most part...then from out of proverbial no where a surge of wistful melancholy bubbles out like milk bubbles from the nose of a gurgling child. WTF? Too much rattles around this head...I think too much. It's my Achilles heel..the cerebral nature that sabotages otherwise per functionary situations. I need to sleep this is self defeating at best.

I wonder how's it gonna be, When you don't know me?

The age old question.....do you really ever truly know anyone? And if so how can you still look them in the eye after their inflated self importance rears it's proverbial "ugly head" ?

I don't need to find inner fulfillment. Bold statement I know, but true nevertheless. Throughout my life the greatest struggles I've encountered I've faced on my own. I got through them on my own....how is that possible? The truth? I just get up each day and go on. I guess there should be more to it than that..some profound epiphany, or life mantra culled from mystical texts infused with life altering dogma.

No.....
It's a baby walking toward me like a teetering lush....
A witty retort from a friend.....
A pint of Guinness..
The hope and innate purity of my children's love....
The verdigris of Angelo's eyes..
A wave crescendoing upon barnacled rocks, while feeling the salty sweet spray upon my cheek...
The outline of the words " i love you" traced upon my back as I fall asleep...
Being knocked down by the twists of life and just getting back up...
Knowing that I love..
And that others love me back...


Wanting people in my life doesn't make me weak, it doesn't make me needy. Wanting to spend time with people I care about, cherish, and find intoxicating isn't an attempt to fill a void in my soul. I don't need to find "inner fulfillment" within myself....who I am within is why all these things matter to me. If I was empty inside my soul I would never be able to articulate any of this. Sometimes we really don't know others....not because we can't...but because they are too empty to allow us to.

Money for nothin' and your chicks for free

Siendo uno con la Naturaleza II, originally uploaded by Seivonia.

I guess more people are into primitive skills than I thought. Apparently they do get "wood". Are am I "barking" up the wrong tree...er um stump...Elizabeth this was so for you. It's so cool that you're my friend.

...and you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack...

Big news!!!! Ben called, Armen is a dipshit and UCLA beat USC!!!

Friday evening the wandering Jew called me back...I almost fainted. Ben has not been one to reply to phone messages in a reasonable frame of time. Perhaps the big booty beauties of Crown Heights have worked their mojo on him? Either way it was a bringer of smiles to my face. A welcome respite from my conversation on Thursday. Did this call bring me "inner fulfillment" ? Alas no that can only come within....at least according to Dudley Dipshit aka Armen . Before his class on Thursday my "friend" shared some wisdom with me. Apparently he thinks I am using him to fill a void within me...don't flatter yourself. Thanks for proving me wrong.....you really weren't worth the effort were you? I guess I'll never know.