Monday night I feel so low Count the hours they go so slow

If anyone guesses where that lyric comes from I'll give you a medal. Considering that only Elizabeth and Heather read this blog it will be a fight to the death. I am almost embarrassed I chose this song. It's a bit difficult to be witty with someone snoring beside you, unless you want to go on a rant about snoring. My legs are sore from the dance class Sunday which makes me feel old...as well as out of shape. It's back to the gym for this chick. It seems the only thing I have any control over is the conditioning of my physical self. It is some subconscious response to the air of sickness permeating every pore of my soul. Should I become one of those over zealous gym rats? Will it make me feel any relief from the realities of my life....perhaps not but my ass will look good in tight pants, which is what life is really all about. JLo seems ecstatic...her ass in tight pants...good, I rest my case.

Really think I better get a hold of myself

I went to a dance class with Heather tonite. It wasn't as bad as I thought...it wasn't bad at all really. Of course the career martyr gave me the passive aggressive full court press upon my return. I could feign surprise but alas no...he shared his disdain before I left.

" Can I tell you something? I really would like it if you didn't go..it's not a good idea"

I went anyway. It didn't matter that I am a adult who can make their own decisions, he "knows" better. Why? Because pretentious bird was there. I didn't go to antagonize him...I went to keep a friend company. End of fucking story. So now I must endure the silent treatment....ohh dear god how will I ever go on?

Did he ever confront Nina on her bullshit? Nope
His family? Nope
But he can tell me how to plan my day?
Whatever sucker said that love was everything was fucking delusional.

...Some girls are bigger than others....

I have discovered a new obsession.....finding my celebrity doppelganger. I have been spending an inordinate amount of time at MyHeritage.com using their face recognition program to find which celebrity I resemble. I have to admit that I have never really been told I look like anyone famous.....yes that disappoints me. Of course growing up in white suburbia I was always told I looked like whatever "brown" person was famous at the time. I dreaded the season premiere of "The Cosby Show" because I knew that the next day some jackass was going to say I looked like Theo's girlfriend or whatever girl caught their eye. Usually I got told I looked like Lisa Bonet or Neneh Cherry. I don't...not that they are not beautiful....but contrary to popular belief " we all don't look alike". So here's some of my results....enjoy.

Update: January 28, 11:20 PM

I somehow deleted the photos...oh well my celebrity was getting to all be a bit much.

And you can tell everybody, this is your song

Artwork by SHAG

"This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)"

Talking Heads

Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - burn with a weak heart
(So I) guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's ok I know nothing's wrong . . nothing

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you're standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up + say goodnight . . . say goodnight

Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there
I come home - -she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can't tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this where I'll be . . . where I'll be

Hi yo We drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Out of all those kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I'm just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I'm dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head Ah ooh

Welcome to your life. There's no turning back.

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus but he talks like a gentleman

Happy New Year lemmings. I have been enjoying the fruits of unemployment. Which are you ask? Soul crushing self-doubt, personal inadequateness, insomnia, no sex drive and ahh yes tons of free time to peruse celebrity gossip. Envy, I know you have it don't you? It's not really that bad, I am no stranger to poverty as such....but getting canned 5 days before Christmas is a bit....demoralizing. I know my job was shit, I loathed it....I had vivid fantasies of sabotaging the press with a giant Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man. Yet no one likes getting fired....unless they are on a reality show and can parlay it into 15 minutes of unworthy celebrity and a spread in Maxim. But alas I am too "chubby" to be in Maxim. At least according to the forest dwelling prophet. Thanks Crow without a Nest, if a working erection were a prerequisite you'd be ass out as well.

It's far too easy to make fun of him...I should resolve to stop. Fuck that...he's too self absorbed to leave unscathed. The oozing pretentiousness is akin to the stench of patchouli at a Grateful Dead show.I am just unenlightened. No, I am still angry at the knowledge that I was duped. The ego is a powerful motivator. How does he do it? It is not all that difficult to decipher in the land of new age bullshit. Maine, "the way life should be" ; if you subscribe to middle class angst and self entitlement masquerading as spirituality. The pied piper of inner fulfillment is the emperor without any soul.